Taking Something for Granted..

What are we doing with our life? Are we taking it for granted?

What should we do about it? Can we do even do anything? 

Will we ever be good enough, good enough for one another?

What is good enough, and when should we have achieved it?

It is just easier to be alone, no one to annoy you, no one to distract to.   

Lately I Have Been Feeling Really Distracted and Out of Place

According to psychologists on youth and identity, more and more people get into identity problems or crisis because of the demand for flexibility on your identity. Many people ask you have you figured out university yet? Have you got a family yet? Or other questions alike. What is the point? Is it really fair to be asking these questions? I know that many people use these phrases as icebreakers, me included. That doesn't make the question more irrelevant in fact it is the opposite. 

We are all different people and we respond and act differently to the given situations. Therefor am I solely speaking from my point of view. 

When you ask the questions as above, you put a great amount of expectations on another person’s shoulders. By expectations I mean, expectations to do great in life and reach out for your opportunities. But just by saying 'great', we all have different interpretations of great. By doing great, is that a successful career, a loving family or maybe even both? 

Let us have an example. A hardworking dad of 36 is juggling both career and a lovely family. He loves life as it is. Though this man repeatedly gets asked the following question: when are you going to get married? This lovely man and his girlfriend doesn't believe in marriage and don't want to have a wedding or anything alike. They have seen it destroy so many couples, that they have lost faith in the meaning of marriage. He can't help feeling the pressure from his friends and family, even though they have his best interests at heart. The expectations continuously increase from family and friends, even at work expectations are crawling around the corner. 

One day he realised how he was fed up with listening to other people's opinion on what he should do at work or how he should live his life. He started giving small hints that he wasn't the same person anymore. Sounds more dramatic than it was, but he started to not laugh at his co-workers jokes as he usually did and he started eating lunch on his own outside of work. These small hints that he didn't do intentionally, but realised that he had been doing for weeks, nobody noticed them though.  Sure people asked about how he was doing, but when he said fine they ran away; as if they were avoiding the topic, but still wanted to be a good enough person to notice something's up. He went on for several weeks without anyone noticing and it slowly grew to be his new identity. A non-motivating sales director, struggling to focus, struggling to make new contacts or friends and in general struggle with any type of social life. 

This entire time, all he has thought about was: I am not good enough, I never will be and why has no one reached out to me yet? 

This is an extreme example of how important it is, to not only be there for your friends and family and push them to edge, but be nice them and lower your expectations once in a while. Though it is not only other people's expectations that are important to decrease. Your own expectation can work just as badly against you as the expectations from others. 

What I want to express is that no matter what your plans are for now or later on in the future, try and take it slow. I am sure that you will have time to do what you wish to do. It might not happen today or tomorrow, but if you want it badly enough it will happen in this lifetime. 

In hopes of anyone reading this far, I now challenge you to go an entire day amongst people not expressing any higher expectation for them or about them. Just for one single day.

Peace out, 

Marie-Louise xx

A Complicated Situation

Sometimes life can become really complicated. I can say that I have now experienced, some sort of what should be called, a complex life. 

When you don’t know what you are feeling yourself, how should you be able to guide someone else, with their feelings?

You need to figure out what you are feeling for that one special person. It can be really difficult (trust me I know) but you have to figure it out. If you're taking too long the chance of you two being together might disappear.

I will now exemplify why it is so important to figure feelings out, both your own and your friends. Please have a think about the questions given in this following story, which is fictional:

We have three characters: Anna, Sophie and Richard.

The situation is that Anna and Richard have been friends since they were 9 years old. They have both started at two different colleges. Everything is very cheerful and they both like their own college rather than the others. Anna and Sophie attended the same class at college. They became close friends quite fast and they told each other everything. Then Anna held a party where both Sophie and Richard attended. They fell in chat and started seeing each other outside Anna’s company.

Anna had always had some feelings for Richard, but over the years they had just become friends. Then Anna started realising that Sophie and Richard were flirting. She therefor held another party to see whether or not there could be something between them. She noticed how they would annoy each other, but they never annoyed each other too much. She noticed how they were touching and how they were talking to each other. Anna started to become jealous which she couldn’t understand herself, because she told herself and everyone else that she had no feelings for him. Did she though? Can someone become jealous of someone else if they don’t love that person?

Anyway, the party ended and people went home one at the time. Anna and Sophie still saw each other and had fun talking about random stuff. They never talked about Richard though, which in some way is understandable. They were really only avoiding the real issue. Who would after all be with whom?

Later on they were together at Sophie’s, which didn’t happen too often. They sat down and had a cup of tea, when Anna suddenly said “Have you slept with Richard?”. You could really tell that this came as a shock for Sophie. She didn’t really anticipate that she would talk about him. She told Anna no and said that they had not been together since her party. Anna knew her well enough by now to know when she was lying. Therefor Anna switched topic as she didn’t want to be hurt by her best friend. They started playing games like stacking tower game and some different card games. They never got back to the topic about Richard. Anna took off earlier than usual, as their conversations ended quite fast, because they both were thinking about the bomb, which Anna dropped to start out with.

It went a while before they had a proper conversation again. They still saw each other at college and sat next to each other in class. They just didn’t get along as well as before. There was too much tension in the air, which neither of them wanted to release.

They slowly drifted apart and they both ended college fine. They had different ambitions, therefor different dreams and therefor they went separate ways. They didn’t see each other again for a long time.

10 years later they ran in to each other in their hometown. They decided to get a cup of coffee at the local coffee shop. Anna had no idea why they stopped seeing each other. Therefor Sophie had to help her recall why. They talked about Richard for a good solid hour. They laughed a lot about it. Neither of them had been with Richard back then and neither of them was with Richard now. So why the enormous worry back then? It was their friendship which broke. Sad enough, they were two completely different people now. Anna lived in Manchester whilst Sophie still lived in their hometown Brighton. They never saw each other again after their little coffee chat.  

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Your life is filled with decissions. Your decissions form your life.
Therefor there is two different outcomes of this story. If you want your realationships to end better than Anna's and Sophie's. Then make up your mind. Take a chance!

I saw a film the other day which reminded me of this situation. The film was 'Letters To Juliet'. The film potrays the issue of never letting someone go when you really shouldn't. 

Love never fades.

There is a new saying now a day: YOLO (You Only Live Once), try and live by it, just once in a while.

I think I have gone on and on for quite some time now. I hope you have a good one.

Peace out!
- Marie-Louise

What Will Your New Year’s Resolution Be?

It is the exact same thing every single year.

“This year I’ll go to the gym twice a week.” or “I’ll start eating healthier” or “This year I would like to be more creative.” And so the list continues; one wish after the other which never comes true. Why is that? Why is it that our New Year’s resolution never comes true? I overall think that there are two different answers to that question.

One, you have set yourself a too big of a goal, than what you possibly would be able to achieve. 
Two, you have a hard time sticking with things. If you set yourself goals, then go through with them! Don’t be a sissy just go show them folks, what you can achieve!

My year 2014 has been an amazing year with both ups and downs. I think that my year 2014 has been my best year so far. I think and know that the year 2015 can become an even better year for me. Can yours become any better?

This year my New Year’s resolution is to do more of what I would like to do and to do more of what makes me happy.

Here are a couple of examples of my New Year’s resolution:

-         I’ll take the stairs instead of the escalator

-         I’ll play the violin

-         I’ll do more blogposts

And last but not least…

-         I’ll say yes instead of no! 

Bits and Bots to Think About

What have we come to be? We are so egocentric and selfish. We have started only to think about the materialistic things in life. But. Have YOU ever stopped to look at something and appreciated it for what it is? Take Christmas for an example. Do YOU truly think about the pleasant time you have with your family, relatives or friends? OR. Are you more excited for the presents under the tree?

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You know when your mind takes you back to very embarrassing moments? Moments you will never forget, moments that will circle in your mind all night so you’ll never get a chance to close your eyes.

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When night comes running and everybody lets it take over our vision. We get blinded from the beautiful nature which lies within the edges of our imagination. 

Pressure To Be Perfect

Is this crazy? I mean it could be worse, right? I just love Essie nail varnish. I do not know why I am telling you this, but I am just letting you know that this is only my upcoming Essie collection. I have tried out loads of other brands but they are not nearly as nice as Essie. But I did not want you to know how many there actually are. Have you tried out an Essie nail varnish? Do you like it just as much as me?

I am not a typical mainstream girl; though I am still in touch with my feminine side. I like nail varnish, make-up, girly clothes etc. But I can live without them. I don’t mind going out into the public without any make-up on; which is huge problem for many other girls. I do understand them (or ‘you‘ if you are one of them, not judging though..) to some extent. I don’t think it is their own fault. I think it mainly is advertising companies fault. The advertising companies now a day have really crossed the line in my opinion. Girls who are just a little bit more round around the belly and hip area or have spots in the face, gets forced into believing that they are fat and unhealthy and overall not pretty. Let me show you an example to make sure everyone is up to speed. 

Take a good long look at this picture and decide which girl is the most beautiful one. Btw. I high jacked this picture from a magazine.. I definitely think it is Blake Lively (the girl on the left) who is the prettiest one. I know this has been up in the media quite a few times, that curves are prettier than bones. I just wanted to show my agreement on this. 

Photoshop is also a huge part of this problem, but in this technological world we are living in, there is no way of getting rid of this problem. If we really did get rid of this huge problem(which in my opinion will not happen), what will then be the next big thing?

In my opinion companies are doing way too much for the economic achievements. Is it really okay that advertising companies are playing with girls self-confident and self-criticism?

 - Marie-Louise

Being a Morning Person

I have always considered myself as a morning person. But after I have entered the teenage years I have enjoyed sleeping in till midday. I guess that it is quite normal, is it not? If I should choose between sleeping till midday or waking up early, I would still choose to wake up early. I just feel like it is so nice to get something out of the day and not sleep my entire life away. Even if doing something like moving my body out of my room and on to the patio, then I think that is okay, at least I get to see the day go by. Do you agree? I mean it is not to be understood that I never go anywhere and are a lonely person, but we all have those days where you cannot be bothered to get anything done. 

I know this was quite a short post, but keep your heads up, because there will be a big one coming tomorrow at 4 o' clock, stay tuned!

 - Marie-Louise